Stress is so inevitable and it can consume the life out of us if we don’t face it.
Over the past few years, I’ve found that keeping myself grounded and being present has helped me deal with stress. But this past summer when I turned 30, I became very self conscious and judgmental of myself. I started to create my own stress, and that’s when my anxiety levels SKY ROCKETED 🚀 I began to question my previous education and career moves, what I’ve accomplished, how many times I’ve failed, and focused on the negative versus appreciating how far I’ve come. We really don’t always realize how much pressure we create for ourselves, and how outside channels like social media can impact the way we look at ourselves.
Now that I am beginning a new month, I’ve decided to let go of my fears and my negative thoughts. I’ve caused myself a lot of stress trying to impress myself and set expectations that I knew just weren’t for me. So, I’ve decided I’m just going to be the best version of myself, and appreciate it while I can.
So how can you deal with stress when it hits you head on?
Face it! Accept what’s happening and ask yourself why it’s happening. Is there something you can do to avoid creating stress for yourself? If you are unhappy with what you’re doing, is it because you aren’t good at it or are you just forcing yourself to do what you’ve “thought” you’ve always wanted?
If you keep running out of money, have you sat down and made a plan to save? If you think someone or something is causing you to feel insecure, have you tried talking to them about it and finding out why it’s affecting you the way it is? Could you be burying things inside and being passive with your own reactions because you think eventually things will just be “normal”? Are you avoiding tough conversations because you expect them to go completely wrong? Majority of the time, our minds are what stress us out the most.
Finding the root or cause of your stress is important. It might be the fear of leaving a job that you thought you always wanted, or maybe the thought of accepting that happiness is right in front of you and you don’t need to search any longer. But are your thoughts geared towards happiness and being the best version of yourself? I find that being present and taking time to breathe, look around, and inhale everything that’s around me is what helps me feel less stressed nor worried about what could’ve been (past) or what could be (future).
I heard it once before, “Depression stems from living in the past, anxiety rises from living in the future, and happiness comes from living in the present.”
So stay true to looking at situations in a more positive light while staying present. For tomorrow really isn’t promised and yesterday is long gone. It’s something we all hear but how many of us actually believe it?
The human brain is very complex. As much as you’d like to have control over it and stay positive to keep stress levels at a minimum, sometimes it’s just impossible. Or so it seems. Your brain can literally treat you like its puppet and take over your mind. And before you know it, you are flowing down a negative river and feeling bad for yourself for whatever reason(s).
It’s important that in times like this you find a way to ground yourself and be grateful. It’s not easy to do it, and I know I personally have a hard time being grateful when all I can think about are the things going wrong in my life.
Haven’t you ever sat back and thought, “Ugh, why me?”
Many times, it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself over things that you can’t control. For instance, if your car breaks down (uncontrollable), you typically get to fixing it right away because you know you need transportation to get to work or school the next day. I mean of course, I personally break down, cry, and wonder why this is happening to me. That something like this would happen to me! And I’m a jinx, and so on. But after the initial break down, I start figuring out ways to repair my car and figuring out how much it’ll cost me to get it done ASAP.
It’s very easy to get wound up in those initial negative thoughts. It’s easy to be negative when anything that isn’t going “your way” happens. But it’s important to remember that negative thinking is also something we, as humans, create and have control over. Instead of crying that my car broke down, I started to laugh at myself and smile really hard because I knew that in reality, I was lucky to still be alive!
So to help you find gratitude, think about this.
What are 3 things you’re grateful for today? Regardless of where you are in your life, just think hard about why you are grateful for being alive today. I am grateful for having a roof over my head, a family who loves me, and the ability wake up and walk with my own two feet, every single day!
Now remember those things you’re grateful for? Write them down. Email them to yourself and take a screen shot. Revisit that screen shot as often as possible. Life will continue to happen, and there will be situations that are out of your control, but your reaction to them is everything. Ask yourself every morning, “What am I grateful for today?” It’s so important to train your brain to be positive because without positivity, it’s a spiral down the negative river.
Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve & State Beach
This month has been filled with so many exercises benefiting the spine. From flexion to extension, and a little bit of twisting, March Matness is officially coming to an end.
To wrap the month up, I’ve included a few of my favorite exercises for you below. Check out the benefits of each and what to look for when you’re performing these exercises so you get the best results.
💫Swimming – Spinal extension is super important for everyone. Do you sit all day? Drive a car for work? Text? If any of these sound like you, do a little swim at the end of your day. Swimming opens up your chest and helps release tension in your pecks. Focus on anchoring your shoulders away from your neck and ears and reaching through the crown of your head. Only lift your chest and quads up as high as they need to go to keep your lower back in a neutral state (natural arch in the low back). Try to avoid over extending and focus more on targeting the mid back muscles – your thoracic spine. Kick your arms and legs, alternating in opposite directions while keeping the torso still.
💫Rocking – Similar to swimming, rocking helps open up the chest and extends the spine. Challenge yourself to keep the legs as parallel to the ground possible. Rocking is accomplished mostly by breathing and small shifts of the body forward and back, activating your abdominal and back muscles. The ribs will naturally want to expand wide, but by engaging your abdominals try and control the ribs from popping out.
💫One leg kick – Glutes and hamstrings will definitely fire up if you perform this exercise correctly. Keeping your pelvis and hips slightly tucked to protect your back is super important here. If you can challenge yourself to lift your quads, you’ll feel the hamstrings fire up even more. Again, watch the ribs and turn on those abdominals to find control. Don’t forget to keep your shoulders anchored as they will naturally want to creep up into the neck area. Kick each heel back two times towards your glutes and switch.
💫 Side bend – Probably one of my most favorite Pilates exercises, and it only gets easier with practice. Strengthening your shoulders, back muscles, and oblique abdominals, the side bend also stretches the side body. Focus on keeping your palm directly under your wrist and creating as much space as possible between the wrist and shoulder. As you lower your hips, keep them squared off and avoid letting your weight shift into your neck. Pull up with the belly and hips while still lengthening through the crown of the head.
💫Side kick – This exercise focuses on the control from your belly while strengthening your butt and thighs. You can see in my video, my hips start to sway a bit. Try laying on your side in a straight line from your shoulders to ankles and use your bottom hand to prop up your head for more support.
I am so excited for March Matness! During the month of March, I will be posting mat exercises every few days that you try at home.
March 4th is a little late, but its never to late to start NOW.
My goal is to help you achieve a strong core, good posture, and a healthy mind. It takes some time, but if you follow me along through the month of March, I promise you won’t regret it. Below is the first exercise; The Hundred.
What are the many benefits to The Hundred?
- Helps create stronger core muscles – those ABS baby!
- Gets your blood moving FAST- a great warm-up to any exercise
- Develops trunk stabilization and increases endurance.
- Increases lung capacity and develops mindful breathing techniques into the back of the ribs.
How do I execute The Hundred?
Lye on your back with your knees bent, soles of your feet flat and your spine in a neutral position (soft, natural arch in your lower back). Keep your arms long by your side with palms facing down. Slowly lift your legs up into a tabletop position while keeping the inner thighs connected and feel your abdominals fire up to protect the maintain the lower back in a neutral position. Reach your fingertips away from your shoulders towards your feet while curling the chest (sternum leads the way) up. Feel your shoulders anchor down your back and relax your neck.
Step 1. Inhale (using active breathing) for a count of five, filling the lungs with air. Pump the arms with a slight emphasis on the downward movement – almost like you are pumping them through molasses or peanut butter 😉
Step 5. Exhale for a count of five, continuing to pump arms. Move from the shoulder joint, maintaining a stable torso – AVIOID letting your head and neck bounce.
Step 6. Repeat 10x until you complete a set of 100!
As you grow, you start to figure out who you are and who you aren’t. Somethings that once interested you might not anymore. And that’s okay. Some people may have come and gone, while others are still riding with you. Once you get to that point, you feel aware of yourself and are content. At least that’s how I’m feeling. I’m becoming aware of who I am. And I’m not doing what I don’t like, simply because it doesn’t make me happy. And in the long run, the key to life is finding happiness.
It’s important to do what makes you happy and do it with the people who make you happy. Being around people who make you laugh, smile, and feel like you’re at your best are the people you should share life with. Those are the ones who will build you up and support you no matter what. Understanding that some people who made you happy once might not anymore isn’t always easy. One thing that has helped me find peace in letting go of those who don’t belong was seeing their perspective of who I am. When you start to allow the judgement of others bring you down and determine your actions, you should consider asking yourself; is this really me? If it isn’t, confront them and let them know who you truly are. If they cannot accept that, don’t force it.
Again, it’s not easy. But as you grow, you’ll find clarity in who you do and don’t want to be. And some of those moments will involve letting go of those who see you in the wrong light. I don’t want to call it a negative light, or even say that you should cut people off. Because you shouldn’t. You should always strive to forgive, and letting go doesn’t always mean forever. Sometimes it’s just the best thing to do in the moment.