Image

What do YOU stress about?

Stress is so inevitable and it can consume the life out of us if we don’t face it.

Over the past few years, I’ve found that keeping myself grounded and being present has helped me deal with stress. But this past summer when I turned 30, I became very self conscious and judgmental of myself. I started to create my own stress, and that’s when my anxiety levels SKY ROCKETED 🚀 I began to question my previous education and career moves, what I’ve accomplished, how many times I’ve failed, and focused on the negative versus appreciating how far I’ve come. We really don’t always realize how much pressure we create for ourselves, and how outside channels like social media can impact the way we look at ourselves.

Now that I am beginning a new month, I’ve decided to let go of my fears and my negative thoughts. I’ve caused myself a lot of stress trying to impress myself and set expectations that I knew just weren’t for me. So, I’ve decided I’m just going to be the best version of myself, and appreciate it while I can.

So how can you deal with stress when it hits you head on?

Face it! Accept what’s happening and ask yourself why it’s happening. Is there something you can do to avoid creating stress for yourself? If you are unhappy with what you’re doing, is it because you aren’t good at it or are you just forcing yourself to do what you’ve “thought” you’ve always wanted?

If you keep running out of money, have you sat down and made a plan to save? If you think someone or something is causing you to feel insecure, have you tried talking to them about it and finding out why it’s affecting you the way it is? Could you be burying things inside and being passive with your own reactions because you think eventually things will just be “normal”? Are you avoiding tough conversations because you expect them to go completely wrong? Majority of the time, our minds are what stress us out the most.

Finding the root or cause of your stress is important. It might be the fear of leaving a job that you thought you always wanted, or maybe the thought of accepting that happiness is right in front of you and you don’t need to search any longer. But are your thoughts geared towards happiness and being the best version of yourself? I find that being present and taking time to breathe, look around, and inhale everything that’s around me is what helps me feel less stressed nor worried about what could’ve been (past) or what could be (future).

I heard it once before, “Depression stems from living in the past, anxiety rises from living in the future, and happiness comes from living in the present.”

So stay true to looking at situations in a more positive light while staying present. For tomorrow really isn’t promised and yesterday is long gone. It’s something we all hear but how many of us actually believe it?

How do you find gratitude?

How do you find gratitude?

The human brain is very complex. As much as you’d like to have control over it and stay positive to keep stress levels at a minimum, sometimes it’s just impossible. Or so it seems. Your brain can literally treat you like its puppet and take over your mind. And before you know it, you are flowing down a negative river and feeling bad for yourself for whatever reason(s).

It’s important that in times like this you find a way to ground yourself and be grateful. It’s not easy to do it, and I know I personally have a hard time being grateful when all I can think about are the things going wrong in my life.

Haven’t you ever sat back and thought, “Ugh, why me?”

Many times, it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself over things that you can’t control. For instance, if your car breaks down (uncontrollable), you typically get to fixing it right away because you know you need transportation to get to work or school the next day. I mean of course, I personally break down, cry, and wonder why this is happening to me. That something like this would happen to me! And I’m a jinx, and so on. But after the initial break down, I start figuring out ways to repair my car and figuring out how much it’ll cost me to get it done ASAP.

It’s very easy to get wound up in those initial negative thoughts. It’s easy to be negative when anything that isn’t going “your way” happens. But it’s important to remember that negative thinking is also something we, as humans, create and have control over. Instead of crying that my car broke down, I started to laugh at myself and smile really hard because I knew that in reality, I was lucky to still be alive!

So to help you find gratitude, think about this.

What are 3 things you’re grateful for today? Regardless of where you are in your life, just think hard about why you are grateful for being alive today. I am grateful for having a roof over my head, a family who loves me, and the ability wake up and walk with my own two feet, every single day!

Now remember those things you’re grateful for? Write them down. Email them to yourself and take a screen shot. Revisit that screen shot as often as possible. Life will continue to happen, and there will be situations that are out of your control, but your reaction to them is everything. Ask yourself every morning, “What am I grateful for today?” It’s so important to train your brain to be positive because without positivity, it’s a spiral down the negative river.